When you have lost all hope...Your light can shine again

manifesting Mar 24, 2022
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I have this reoccurring dream where I am still in my old life. That I have a vague feeling of something not being right but I can't quite remember.

Then it hits me like a ton of bricks that I managed to escape and create a whole new life and be happy. Waiting for me is my Iain, patient and knowing that I would find my way back.

On a dog walk today, this came to me and using Otter.ai (amazing app!) I recorded my thoughts.....

Fairy Lights

You are born with the biggest brightest, sparkiest, aluminous fairy lights of a soul

Over the years gradually the bulbs one by one lose their brightness

You attract dark energies like a moth to a flame

These people want to dim that brightness and keep you all to themselves

It can happen as early as a baby, as a toddler, in our teens finding our feet as young adults in the world of love and relationships

As time goes on your fairy lights, these little bulbs, they get dimmer and dimmer

It starts with the bitchy comments, put downs, the belittling, the controlling behaviour

You don't notice it first

You think it's your fault

You must try harder

You need to be a better person to make them happy

To make them feel loved

To make them feel special

To make them feel important

And each time you justify your tears, your emotions, your sadness

But is it's okay, they will be better next time

And you forget…

You tighten those little bulbs in your fairy lights

To try and be brighter…but it's not quite the same as before

The memory lingers until next time…
The pattern repeats, the cycle of behaviour continues…

The “you are crazy” comments

“you're too emotional” comments

“It's not me. It's you”

“I'm fine. You're the abnormal one”

“You're the fucked up one”

Until one day. one by one your fairy lights, the little bulbs hanging on by a thread by the tiniest electrical charge

Go out
You're tired
You're anxious
You're depressed
You're overweight
The kids are screaming
The bills are piling up
You've lost your sparkle
You've lost your light
You have no hope
And you don't know what to do next
Than a little voice from deep inside you
Whispers words of comfort
Whispers words of strength
You quietly listen to what she has to say
Not believing you are capable but secretly hoping it's true
She is saying you are your own power source
You have everything right inside you to make your lights bright again
One day you start to believe her
You start to trust her
And it's true....
Your imperfections make you beautiful
Your ability to love to untold bounds makes you magnificent
Your capability to see light in the dark is a strength not a weakness
You realise you can heal your wounds and be whole again
That you will shine bright again
You are a Powerful Woman
SJ Lewis

PS Please know you are not on your own xx

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