Getting Shit Done...For YourselfMar 17, 2022
How many times have you promised yourself that you will buy a nice dress, eat something healthy or actually do some exercise you enjoy?
I bet a fair few times.
As a people pleasing woman who has come from a background of never feeling good enough, I tend to punish myself quite a lot by not doing nice things for myself.
I may have in the past punished myself with harsh diet and exercise routines. I may have spent the little money I had on someone else rather than looking after myself.
At the root of it, deep down my inner child just wanted to be happy, nourished, loved and accepted. But I never knew for such a long time the only person who can provide all of that was ME!
Always looking for external validation led me down some dark paths and ultimately made me very unhappy, insecure, unfulfilled, lonely and vulnerable to those that had ulterior motives exploiting me for their benefit.
I am very happy to say that as I approach the grand age of 20 x 2, I understand that only I am responsible for my happiness. And sometimes that means pushing myself out of my comfort zone to do the things I really should do.
For example, I regularly romantically picture myself waking up bright and breezy at the crack of dawn to complete some invigorating exercise. Leaving me feeling fit and buzzing ready for the day.
In reality this bloody rarely happens as my bed is too cosy and warm, pushing the snooze button one too many times and than it is too late as my day job beckons.
But this week I have grabbed my metaphysical self and shook her up. The conversation in my head went a bit like this "You ARE going to get up early and you ARE going to the gym. You promised you would. You love running and swimming so WHY don't you just DO IT!"
Why don't I just do it and save all this mental drama? Well, if I actually do something I enjoy when I promised I will do it...than I am being nice to myself. Surely not possible, one must constantly be in turmoil and punish one self for...no reason at all.....
If you are still reading this amazing, I am going for it today!
Healing is an ongoing process and takes many many years. My big progress is my awareness of this cycle I get myself into. And quite frankly I am bored of her #BS.
7 weeks ago I had a rather serious accident where there was a moment or two where I thought I was a gonna. In that moment I knew with 100% clarity that I could not die as I still had sooo much to do, to give and to experience in my life.
It was a HUGE wake up call. After a serious amount of painkillers and 4 weeks of concussion (which is a bitch btw) I am honouring that slightly delirious version of me and getting shit done...for myself.
If I do all the things I promise myself I will do than life is going to be amazing and so much more than I could ever hope for.
So today I got up when my alarm went off at 5:30am and went to the gym. I completed my run and outdoor swim. It was lush and made me feel amazing.
See I am worth it. I now know, understand and feel that I deserve to treat myself well. In return the universe will attract those that respect that version of me.
If you want a giggle check out my latest reels on insta below....I am new to all of this and tend to be a decade behind all the trends!
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